Traveling to a lot of cities across the world and having stayed in many hostels I’ve accumulated a lot of stories and experiences of things that generally just piss me off. I’m not the only person that thinks this way but I can assure you I’m the only one talking about it openly on the internet with hopes that people learn and maybe just maybe, not wake up everybody up in the morning when they get up. Here are my pet peeves when I stay in hostel dorm with several other travelers in no particular order:
What is it with people and plastic bags, every morning at 4am sharp the plastic bag noises start. Unpacking and repacking the bag only to realize that you forgot your bag of chips inside a plastic bag inside your luggage full of plastic bags and old wrapping paper and what ever other noisy things you can pack into one bag. I’m not a souvenir type of traveler so very rarely do I buy something and store it my bag, but for some odd reason when people buy their souvenir(s) for their loved one(s) back home they keep it with the original plastic bag it was sold to them in for optimal noise pollution in the morning. Do you give them the plastic bag as part of the gift to? Probably not so why the heck are you still carrying it around with you? Is it for that off chance that you plane crashes and you survive that you can make a raft out of all the plastic bags you accumulated on your 2 week world wind trip through all the touristic cities across Europe. The answer is NO so for everybody’s sake ditch the plastic bags.
2. Body spray and perfume
Almost all of us want to smell good which is tough when your traveling, hand washing clothes, weird soap from other countries that doesn’t quite do the aromatic job your looking for. But at what point do you think its ok to unload 1/2 a can of Axe body spray in a room that is smaller than most peoples cubicle at work? I can tell you for sure there is no better way to get to know your bunk mates in your hostel than waking them up by gagging on the pungent body spray or perfume that you just unloaded in the room like a tear gas bomb. Its not fair that you get to drop this stinky shit off in the room and just leave it there for us to discover after we clean up our lungs off the ground. You certainly will get on the bad side of every roommate in your dorm by doing just this, have some respect and spray outside of the room in a well ventilated area.
3. Alarms, snooze alarms and general loud phone noises
We all want to get up early and get a good start on the day, but be honest with yourself, do you wake up this early at home? If the answer is no what the heck do you think is different from then and now? Nothing! I have no problem with someone getting up using a alarm and heading out, but what kills me is the dickbag that hits snooze for the next hour making his laziness a rude wake up call for the rest of the bunks every 10 mins for the next hour. If you wake up before your alarm which I tend to do often as my body is aware of the alarm and dreads it so I get up before and shut off the alarm before it goes off since I’m already up, duh! Don’t get up leave your foreign phone on your bunk to blare out the new Tswift song for the next 30 min while your in the shower blow drying your Bieber haircut and slapping your face at 4am (I literally put someone’s phone in the refrigerator because I couldn’t figure out how to shut it off and the fridge did a good job of containing the noise). If your asleep there is absolutely no reason that your messenger noise needs to be on ear piercing submarine sonar sound, shut the damn thing off before you go to bed. Its not and hard task to do, just be respectful to other people in the room that are also spending their or their parents hard earned money to travel the world.
4. Asian morning preparations
I understand that every culture is different and that some do a very long morning preparation to start their day, such as a face slapping and 45 min showers and spending countless times looking in the mirror to make sure they’ve slapped all the wrinkles off their face. Respect the hostel and the other travelers spending their hard money on to staying here by using the communal bathroom that is not located in the room. We all have trust issues but I feel like some take it the next level, locking up their bag and then locking it up to the bunk ladder to the top bunk because its too damn big to fit in the 1 x 1/2m locker provided to you. How do you expect the person to get down off the top bunk when you’ve locked your massive rolling suitcase to the ladder. But it doesn’t stop there because what if they forget something? Back in to the storage unit of a bag filled with plastic bags and cans of axe body spray next to all the souvenirs. And for fucks sake its certainly not quieter by doing it slowly to be quiet, the shits loud plain and simple do it quick and get it over with.
5. Hair Dryers
Who brings a hairdryer when they travel and stay at hostels? Well actually a lot of people do, I didn’t just say women because men too bring these in their backpacks. Ok, you need to get your hair just right to put on your dirty smelling clothes after dowsing yourself with your perfume and Axe body spray. It just makes no sense to me at all to bring these with you, most and I say most hostels have them for free of charge. But never mind that lets talk about why on earth your doing it at 4am when you finished your face slapping session inside the dorm room. Have some gumption and go to the communal bathroom not located right next to beds.
6. Packing your bag at 4am
Im sure it wasn’t a surprise to you at 3am that you had to leave that morning, there is a reason you went to bed at 8pm, to get enough sleep before you left. Did ever occur to you to pack the night before? Its literally the first thing I learned when I traveled in hostels in Europe. Its common sense to do this, in the morning you cant really put the lights on and make sure you have everything unless you want to take your being a dickbag to the next level. We don’t want to hear the plastic bags ruffling around next to your endless supply of body spray cans. So pack the night before when you can check to make sure you have all of your belongings before you depart, pull out what you will wear the next day, leave out your toiletries so its as simple as taking a shower, brushing your teeth grabbing your backpack or bag and putting the toiletries in it in the hallway outside the room. Its also a great way to make sure you don’t forget something, in the morning your hazy and your brain isn’t quite functioning all cylinders, so its advantageous to pack at the night before for your sake and our sleep too.
Looking forward to hearing you at 4am tomorrow morning with your bag full of plastic bags and souvenirs!